Ian Bredemeyer was born into the German aristocracy, on a thursday, around noon.

Although his actual date of birth is unknown, the palace has stressed on many occasions that the actual age is irrelevant. Further to this, they have advised that the rumour around the Queen “finding Ian in her beer” is untrue and a deliberate ploy by the extremist midget overlords to undermine the German economy.

From the age of 7, Bredemeyer was home schooled by a troop of Oopma Loompas’ that his nanny had borrowed from MGM. This is when Ian’s natural ability with the ladies first surfaced and he also attracted the attentions of the secret service agencies that would form a large part of his career later in life. Litigation between MGM and several of the gov agencies over the apparent misuse of the Oopma Loompas is ongoing.

Later in his 20′s, as part of his work with NASA, Bredemeyer became the first man to “moon” the earth although this was in part overshadowed by the media believing he was masquerading as an alien due to a bad lighting situation and a wardrobe malfunction.